WOW! It seems like I have been gone forever! I have gotten somewhat caught up on my alerts, but have not commented as much as I normally would; only because I had over 100 alerts and lots of reading to do!
Thank you so much to those of you who have commented and emailed to check on me and offer me words of encouragement. Even though we have never met, you guys are my friends, and the comraderie and compassion in this community is almost overwhelming. For that I am so very grateful.
Brent and I have been going through a VERY rough time to say the least. I know I don't write details about this in my journal, and there are a couple of reasons for that. One, I am just somewhat private about airing my dirty laundry, even though I know everyone here would show nothing but love and understanding. Two, sometime it is just too complicated and confusing to even try and put it down in words. I had someone that reads my blog make a comment to me to the effect of "I can tell by your journal that what you want so much in your marriage is love." I have pondered that comment for quite some time. Everything I have written in this journal about my marriage and my love for my husband is true. We HAVE love, and that is the only thing that has gotten us (and is still getting us) through these hard times. Is my life perfect? By no means. Is my marriage perfect? Far from it. But I know I have begun to rely more and more on my faith in God to lead my life in the direction He wants it to go, and I have begun to see some of the changes I need to make, in order to better myself, my marriage, and my life in general. I read something in Lelly's journal that had so much meaning for me. She said "we don't have to wait in joyful anticipation of trials but we should be joyful during them. What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are small matters compared to what lies WITHIN us." That makes such perfect sense to me, and I can only believe that the struggles I have been going through will strengthen and mature my character, intensify my capacity to deal with adversity, increase my compassion towards others, and make me less quick to judge.
We are still trying to work through the problems we have, and will continue to do so until we just can't. But neither one of us are ready to give up yet. Some days I just have to remember the old saying "When you don't know what to do, don't do anything at all." Or, as Rod McKuen so eloquently put it (from Lisa Jo's journal), "If all else fails, take a walk, eat an apple, or suck on a jawbreaker. Anyone can pack it in or give up. You and I are smarter than that."
Happy Thursday, everyone.
11 comments:
Ash, I hope nothing but the best and that you and Brent work things out. I have always been told that the first few years of marriage is the hardest, so hopefully its just the marriage testing that some of us have been through. Alas, I am sure you both will overcome it and things will feel back to normal. Take Care Hon.
Ang
PS I know.. Imma Freak HEHEHEHHE
That is some very beautiful words.....
I hope all goes well...
I am so glad that your back!!!!! I missed your posts! Linda
Your words make so much sense, and I don't know if you would have been saying those same words a year ago. You have matured in the time I've been reading you. Love doesn't cure all, but it sure helps when you struggle. Even the parts where you acknowledge that YOU have work to do on YOU, is a huge step in becoming the person God wants you to be, thus, becoming the wife you will be. I wish you much luck, patience, determination, and especially, love!! Take care...
xoxo ~Myra
Hummm...I have not read anything that would imply that you don't have love in your marriage...maybe the person was tired and could not write what they meant....I know I am up late sometimes hurtng and just cant think straight..I had to type so many words over in this comment....lol...I better get to bed...but I am thinking of you and praying for you both...Hugs,TerryAnn
You are a wonderful soul.....a beautiful woman with a poets mind. Hold on to your inner strength.....pray...and dont give up the fight. I care for you so much and i am hoping all ends well. You deserve nothing but happiness and love!!
Hugs,lisa jo
You seem to have your head on right, just love and enjoy each other. One thing I have found so hard to do at a time when my husband and I had trouble was to just hug and hold on to each other. Sometimes it is so hard to remember or let our pride down and just ask to be held. I enjoy reading your post. Sherry
I hope you two can work it out, marriage is so hard but you two do love each other. I'll be praying for you both.
((((Ashlee)))))) My only words of wisdom on marriage is this and so far it still works for Jim and I. If each of you learn to put the other "First" both your needs, wants and desires will always be fullfilled.
Jim gets given a hard time from all the other Husbands in the group, he shut them all up with "Why shoudn't I want to see my Wife happy, she's the most important person in my life?"
And how I deal with all the Wives commenting on how much time Jim still gets away from me and the kids to fish and hunt, I shut them up with "There are worse things he could be doing!" Like boozing, using drugs or running around on his Wife.
This stops the other people in their tracks....makes the Husbands feel bad about not trying to make their own wives happy and it makes the other wives see how innocent a day out on the lake is or a day spent in a tree stand.
I want to be happy, Jim makes me happy that's my only need
Jim wants to fish, hunt and spend time with me, that's his only need
Time, love and tenderness from the both of you will see you through all the rough times ALL marriages go through. I hope you find hope in something that I wrote.
Bless your heart, sweetie... I will keep good thoughts for you in my heart and prayers. Marriage is not easy, that's for darn sure. Share with us what you feel you can.. we are all here for you!
Love and hugs,
Jackie
I am glad to read things seem to be better. Keep the faith!
(((HUGS)))
Gillie
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