Hard Times, Continued

As you may have read in a previous entry (Hard Times), Brent's parents informed us the day we got back from our honeymoon that they were divorcing after 34 years of marriage.  To say the least, Brent was floored by the news.  They have lived in Jacksonville for the past eight years (we are in Atlanta), so he had absolutely NO idea anything was wrong.  Sadly, however, neither did his mother.  Let's just say there was another woman involved.  Well this just brought a WHOLE lot of my past back to me.  My parents were divorced when I was sixteen years old, under the same circumstances, another woman.  My parents were always (seemingly) very happy, never fought, and very family oriented. My mother nearly had a nervous breakdown, my little sister was only ten years old at the time and didn't understand, and I was a wild sixteen year old that chose to deal with it by drinking and using drugs (thank God I survived and outgrew that phase).  Getting over it though, well, I guess you really never truly get over having your family destroyed.  And in my heart I knew Brent felt the same way, even at 31 years old. I have never thought that the hurt was any less for him just because he is an adult. So between these two situations, Brent and I had ALOT to overcome as a newly married couple.  My past trust issues came crashing back on me, and he has alot of anger that he has not dealt with.  So I guess it should come as no surpirse that we are now both on antidepressants and seeing a counselor.  Three nights ago, we had a HORRIBLE fight.  I am now spending the week with my mom.  Part of me thinks it is wrong to walk out like that, but we both agreed that when we get that angry, we need to step back, give each other some space, and start over.  We both have a very bad habit of getting very verbally hateful, and I feel like that will slowly break down the respect in our marriage.  Needless to say, today is NOT a good day for me.  I took my lunch break at work to go and drive around and sob.  I love him so much, I miss him so terribly, but I know we both need this time apart.  Marriage is NEVER easy under great circumstances, and we have had some pretty serious blows dealt to us during our short marriage.  I think about the vows I made to him (through good times and bad), and try to remind myself that this is yetanother storm we will weather and good times are ahead ofus.  But right now, all I can do is cry.